Don't fence me in

I hate being pigeon-holed.  I hate being boxed in, pinned down, or otherwise categorized.  This puts me at odds with the way of the world, I know.  So be it.  I refuse to fall in with the universal human tendency to label just about everything.
We are incurable categorizers.
Music can't just be music.  Rather, it must be Blues or Jazz or Soul or Country.  Even Rock n' Roll, a wild blend of them all, now comes in particular varieties:  Classic Rock, Light Rock, Heavy Metal, Grunge, or Punk.
Art can't be art.  Wander through any gallery and you will find rooms devoted to Classical, Neo-Classical, Impressionist, Expressionist, Abstract, and Surreal.  Ironically, it's usually critics who employ such labels, not artists themselves. 
Every bookstore divides itself into sections:   Best-Sellers, Self-Help, History, Science Fiction.  I know that such divisions are necessary for practical purposes, but I wonder what would happen if somebody somehow wrote a best-selling science fiction self-help historical novel.  Barnes and Noble computers might explode.  (Actually, if there were such a category, it would surely include the works of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.).
From gender to religion to politics, we insist on limiting people, ideas and beliefs with our narrow proscriptive labels.
Think about politics for a moment.  Anyone who opposes the death penalty we tag as a bleeding-heart liberal.  Same for those who support gay marriage.  Anyone against government-funded abortion, on the other hand, or in favor of fixing our immigration policies must be part of the fanatical hard right. 
This sort of labeling makes reasonable public debate almost impossible.  Nevertheless, networks like Fox and MSNBC thrive on right-left labels.  The formula for talk shows on these networks never varies:  Pair up a "conservative" with a "liberal."  Make sure both are pure in their beliefs (or at least pretend to be).   Then let them yell at, over, and through each other for half an hour.  It makes for wonderful television, but it certainly does nothing to foster thoughtful, intelligent conversation about the issues of the day.
Real people aren't easily labeled.  Real people think.  Real people struggle to come to an understanding of things that matter to them.  Real people sometimes contradict themselves.  Real people can't be reduced to a checklist. 
I try to be real. 
So categorize this.  I dare you.
I believe that government is bloated, wastes too much money, and needs its appetite curbed.  I don't believe in the death penalty.  I hate the idea of abortion, but I certainly don't want to criminalize it.  I believe in traditional, classical schooling and would just as soon see the Department of Education abolished.  I try to pray daily, but I don't believe that public school teachers should lead their classes in prayer.  I've never smoked dope, but on most days I believe in the legalization (or at least the decriminalization) of marijuana.  I believe that government regulations unfairly strangle small businesses.  I support gay marriage.  It doesn't bother me that our coins say, "In God We Trust," but it also wouldn't bother me if we removed that meaningless slogan from our money.  I don't really like saying the Pledge of Allegiance, with or without the phrase, "under God."  I try to live by the Ten Commandments, but I don't care whether or not they are posted in courthouses.  I sympathize with some of the goals of the Tea Party, but most actual Tea Party candidates seem to me to be crackpots.  I believe I have a right to own a gun, but I'm pretty sure that no one needs a semi-automatic weapon. I consider myself generally conservative and think back fondly to a better and less complicated America, yet I almost gag when I hear politicians talk about "taking America back."  I am deeply embarrassed by some of the things our country does, yet I believe with all my heart that the United States is the best country in the world.
In his essay "Self-Reliance," Ralph Waldo Emerson writes:  "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."   
Emerson knew that thinking people grow.  They change their minds, sometimes daily.  What they believe today, they may not believe tomorrow.  Consistency of belief matters only to the small-minded. 
So come on, all you labelers.  What am I?  A left-leaning pinko conservative?  A patriotic Commie atheist?  A thinking Christian secularist?  A tradition-loving, straight-arrow hippie?
The truth is:  I defy categorization.
Many people do.
More people should.
  
John Amos lives in Orange and teaches English at Woodberry Forest School.